So, I know this sounds stupid but even though I'm not depressed anymore I still want to cut. I used to be extremely depressed, suicidal, sleep deprived, anxious 24/7, and I was starving myself. But now I am better, I have friends and happy days. Sure, I am sad daily but not depressed. When I was depressed I would cut myself daily basically. A lot of my scars are still visible, but for some reason I still want to cut. Anytime I see any sort of blade or sharp thing I remember sitting on my bed, blade in hand. Then I start to think about what it would be like to cut with whatever sharp object I am seeing. And I find cutting almost… addictive? Like, I almost… miss it? Am I mental?
I think at this point your mind has seen cutting as a coping mechanism maybe or it actually does entertain you in the sense that you focus and I wanna say relax..? I’m not qualified to know what happens in your head but I figure it’s something like an addiction as you said. If you feel better or calmer when cutting it guessing your mind reads into that kind of stimuli positivity rather than negativity. I don’t support self harm but I also understand the mentality of someone who does it. If you want to stop I recommend really finding the root if this issue, why you cut or why you feel the need to keep cutting, once you figure that out you’ll be able to stop. ❤️
I’ve included this link hope it helps <a href="https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/resisting-cutting.html" >https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/resisting-cutting.html